Filtering through the noise...

Or why the end of a year is somehow better than Springtime. For me, at least!

So now we’re in the darker time of year (my favourite), and I love to think of it as a contemplative time…a reckoning time.

I imagine more people look forward to the new year and Spring, but for me, this time of year is the best for clearing out. The nights come early, there are vast amounts more time for resting with one’s demons and ushering them out the door. Dusting one’s hands off, and—in a way—shutting out those parts of life that no longer serve you. Spring is a long ways away…is it not better to do it now, as the calendar comes to its close?

2025 brought many health challenges my way, both mental and physical. It’s so easy to take one’s physical well-being for granted. I’m lucky: I’ve always been a relatively healthy person, but I had a little stint in hospital this month. It gave me a lot of time to think. Life makes us so busy these days, and honestly, although it was awful, it put a lot into perspective for me. It forced me to slow down and think about what’s important.

I have a long history of not putting myself first, and essentially my body stood up and said “AHEM! You’re not a young person anymore!” I aim to be on this planet for a long time to come, so yes…I’m listening!

I didn’t get to enjoy the American thanksgiving holiday this year, and, honestly, it’s always been one of my favourites. There’s something so special about it: there aren’t any gifts involved. It’s all about food and camaraderie. Yet so many Americans have mixed feelings about this particular holiday…there should be comfort there, but it often comes with strife and a sense of obligation. Pressure to travel to the homestead. Pressure to cook a perfect meal. Family conflicts, stressful journeys, and that one uncle or aunt or cousin who always manages to put a damper on the whole gathering. I’m convinced that the only saving grace for Thanksgiving is THE FOOD. Even if it isn’t perfect, it’s still good! Also, pie.

My own thanksgiving was spent in solitude, but it was quiet and altogether peaceful. No big meal or leftovers for me, thanks to having had surgery, but I’m still here!

And now I’m so, so ready for Yule. I’ve always loved the yuletide season, which for me is always launched by thanksgiving, but this year I’m doing it on my own terms. More about that next month!

What of New Year’s Resolutions? Or Spring?

I’ve never been one for resolutions. As a neurodivergent person, this feels a bit too close to making a list of future failures for myself. I know what I’m capable of if I put my mind to it and also what I can’t do: I don’t need a reminder list. To be honest, I don’t understand why the turning of a calendar page is significant for anyone.

And as far as Spring? Why wait? Do it when you feel like it! Freshen things up! Open the windows when it’s cold outside. Clear out the cobwebs in December. Or don’t! It’s your one and only life :)

I live in the desert in Southern California, so there are no true seasons. It’s either hot or not hot. There is no in-between. I have to make my own reality. Tonight, for example, I’d like to have hot cocoa…but it’s actually temperate enough outdoors that one could go out in shorts and not be too uncomfortable. I might turn on my air-conditioning until it’s chilly, cuddle up in bed, and have my cocoa with a book. No one needs permission to live one’s own reality!

Having said that, it’s been a tough year for me, especially on the writing front. I put out a new edition of Beguiled by Night with a brand-new cover commemorating its fifth-anniversary. A huge moment!

The sequel, Citizens of Shadow, came out in 2023. But I had a very unsettling thought this past month: I haven’t published anything since then. I was talking with my beloved, Beverley Lee, earlier today, and she had a similar thought. Her new book, The Haunting of Wounded Birds, released this month on Martinmas. But. BUT!!! She and I both managed to forget that we published three books between 2024-2025: our queer vampire romance trilogy, A Conclave of Crimson. It was a HUGE eye-opening moment for us.

It isn’t that we forgot about these books…we never could, because they’re embedded in our DNA. I think it’s just that we had to fight tooth and nail to get them out into the world—and we struggled to find its proper audience—that somehow we both subconsciously minimised our own accomplishments. We are so incredibly proud of this series, and this has nothing to do with us being prolific writers and getting three books out in the span of 1.5 years. It’s just that we worked so hard and it fell flat. Someday it will find its readers.

Neither of us will ever write to market, or what’s currently popular or will potentially sell—we are storytellers, and slaves to that til the end.

Stories that must be told will always have a way of emerging. If you feel that itch, just write. Don’t listen to the bestseller list. Write what your heart tells you to write.

The same goes for musicians, filmmakers, dancers, inventors, designers, composers, artists…

What’s been giving me life lately

I haven’t been reading much, because I still have a massive book hangover from The Haunting of Wounded Birds, Beverley Lee’s latest release. If your vibe is frosty dark nights, birds that know all, folk horror, skin-crawling ancient rituals in rural English villages, and loveable characters that you’ll think about forever (hi, Jackdaw 🫠)—this book is for you. I DARE you to find another read that is more perfect for this time of year. I triple dog dare you!

I also read a secret book that is making the agent rounds, and oh, the world needs this story. I can’t say anything else about it now.

I’m currently reading another book that is from one of my auto-buy authors, and at about 30% in, I’m not loving it :( — I’ll stick with it out of faith, but if this were my first book by this author, I’d DNF it and never pick up another of their works, and that gives me a Big Sad. I don’t want to say what it is right now, because I’m still giving it the benefit of the doubt. Some books deserve that.

Visuals

Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein. My GOD. I know this film is massively popular right now, so there’s very little I can say about it that isn’t being rehashed over and over again, but it just emphasises why he is my favourite film director. There is nothing about this film that isn’t perfection. Yes, he manipulated the storyline from Mary Shelley’s novel, but it worked. If there’s anyone who understands the concept of “misunderstood monster,” it’s del Toro. Jacob Elordi was flawless as the Creature, and Oscar Isaac prevailed as the egotistical “father.” Del Toro bent the story just enough to accurately portray Victor Frankenstein’s mania vs the unknown beauty that he manifested and could not handle, and Isaac pulled it off to a T.

Unspoilt beauty.

Oh, sure, blame ME for HIS shortcomings.

Del Toro is an absolute master of colour. Before I watched Frankenstein, I did a rewatch of Crimson Peak, in which colour is also a character…and afterward, I rewatched The Shape of Water.

In all three films, colour is king. But the common thread?

GREEN.

Life. Vibrancy. Hope.

And again, I’ll emphasise that no one understands the concept of the beauty of The Other like del Toro. And No other director can grasp the sheer eloquence of Gothic as he does.

Sounds

Most of my new music discoveries of late have come from a Parisian radio station, Éclectique Radio. It’s such a wildly varied station, and it lives up to its name. You might hear opera followed by folk music from Brittany (which is so unsurprisingly akin to what you’d think of as Celtic music, if you know history) or American music from the 1960s or current French pop. I love it so much. Here are some of my recent favourites, which you can find on Spotify:

Cover Me Over - Slow Joe & The Ginger Accident

Glorious - Andreas Johnson

C’est Simple - Mobill

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I’m so happy you’ve spent some of your time with me. If anything in this newsletter resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you. Please leave a comment or send me a message!

xx
Nicole